Fashion Disasters

Do people really think...
that wearing Nike makes them athletic?
that wearing an over-priced shirt with ‘CK’ or ‘DKNY’ on it somehow makes them classy?
that plastering some Hilfiger guy’s name all over yourself somehow makes one cool?
that getting tattoos or piercings makes one hip?
that sporting a pricey Italian suit makes them a better man than the next?
that leopard prints and zebra stripes make one a succulent wild woman?
that wearing a bunch of shiny rocks and metals make one more attractive?
that their khakis give them soul?
that clothes really make the man?

Beware. Lameness abounds.
I have seen it with my own eyes. You probably have, too. People that appear eerily alike. Like they’re cut from the same cloth. Like security is to be found within the comforting warmth of a familiar brand name. People that look like they just popped out of a Mervyn’s ad in the Sunday paper. People that look as if they have volunteered to be ‘street soldiers’ in a corporate war against unique personal appearance. No, wait, they’re not volunteers...they paid TOP DOLLAR for the privilege of providing free advertising for companies that are already richer than the Sultan of Brunei!

What is with the way some people dress? It saddens me to see how well advertising’s image manipulations work. I see some of these walking billboards and I wonder ìIs anybody in there?î Or is this just another brainwashed zoid to avoid...because, although you can’t judge a book by its cover - clothing, to some extent, is part of the expression of an individual’s beliefs and values. And it trips me out to see so many people that have sublimated their individual identities in order to join the label clothing herd.

That strikes me as a little...retarded, frankly. To have so much of your self-esteem tied into your skin coverings is pretty sad. But, hey, being a true individual takes too much time and effort - it’s so much easier to snap up the pre-packaged ‘cool kit’, be you a wannabe jock, yuppie, rebel, socialite, skate punk, nouveau rich, whatever: the characters you fancy yourself to be are available in pret-a-porter ensembles. Just buy the costume, and off you go...however, a note of caution: the more gear and accoutrements a person has, the higher the chance that they are NOT what they want you to think they are.

Labels are all part of the conspicuous consumption foolishness that infests too many heads. It’s the old ‘hey, look at my clothing - it costs more than yours!’ trip. There were Calvin Klein t-shirts that were priced at $1,510. People bought them! Wow.

Or, it’s a ‘herd instinct’, ‘my need to belong is overwhelming’, copycat thing, which is also a dead end, because the people that we really love, respect and admire are those who are original, unique, confident and on their own program. Their personal appearances usually reflect that, as well.

But don’t let the advertisers hear my blasphemy! Their entire industry is supported by the effectiveness of their soothing appeals to the ego, their illusionary promises of popularity, acceptance and success, if only you’re wearing the right clothing, driving the right car, smoking the right brand...and speaking of brands, last time I checked, brands were for cattle. Mooo...

People may say ‘I don’t care what I’m wearing’, or ‘it doesn’t matter what I have on, it’s the inside that counts’. I agree! But if they’re still wearing conspicuous labels, then they’re letting advertisers get over on them and perhaps unduly influence their apparel decisions, and that’s not a proper use of free will. Be your own fuckin’ flying saucer.

The label-lovers will also tell you, ‘oh, I wear it because it’s well made’, or, ‘I like the way it looks’...but you get the sense they don’t really know why they like it, perhaps they don’t introspect stuff like that. I suspect it’s because they’re told that it’s ‘in’ this year, or they’re told or shown that cool people like it. So they buy into it and condition themselves to like it, willing participants in their own deception. Twisty, eh?

It also makes me sad to see consumers unknowingly enriching amoral and soulless corporations that often advance the GOP agenda or cruelly exploit their overseas workers. When you can, why not support ethical companies? It’s certainly worth doing a little research or even paying a little bit more.

I like people who dress interestingly and put stuff together in unique combinations, so that you can’t quite tie them in to any one style. Me, I like to wear generic stuff. Chuck Ts are as label-y as I get, and even their appeal is diminishing...I either wear totally wack-ass loud Stark Raving shit, or non-descript black or gray stuff. I don’t dress in a way that clearly advertises ‘I’m part of this group or that group’ (unless the group is clearly the catagory marked ‘other’ or ‘wierdo’...) If people are going to make judgements on me, I want them to do so based on my words and actions. You know, the content of my soul and all that. I’m totally impervious to fashion trends, and I suggest that you be, as well.
But to really get on the topic, don’t listen to me. Go read Dr. Suess’s classic about the star-bellied Sneetches. The good doctor did not wear khakis...

Clothes — all things considered, they don’t make the man, sooo...who cares? Fuck the fashion industry and the label pushers. Be current, be cool, be hip, be fresh, be dope, be all that. But be it for real: on the inside.

See ya at Niketown!